Deaf-ears

  Take in a deep breath and hold. Asphyxiation is one of the most horrible and terrifying experiences that is known to man. Whether it's an asthmatic episode, a panic attack, head under water, or hands clenching around a throat, there's no other fear like it. It's nothing but pure and utter torture. It isn't the pain of lungs shriveling in your chest, which is a form of hell in itself, but the complete helplessness accompanied by it. Breathing should be a God-given right, yet in reality it is just as everything else in life, beyond our control. We may hold our breath until our cheeks turn purple and our vision blackens, but once unconsciousne

Lines tether and unwind Fraying and praying As the doors shut And the shadows fade Into the light of A new day Unlived and unfelt Those precious moments Where we used to belong   Now strangers Stare deftly At the blank   Unfamiliarity   Polite smiles And tepid hands wave   Replace what once was Warm and pure Aged sour by Times unyielding grip

Inner Conflict A thoughtless remark That’s said too soon Will rake at your heart Even if it’s known untrue Sweet words glazed with acid Leaving deep groves Raw slashes against the shield That’s bending under pressure One moment of weakness Births permanent scars Watch what you say Guard your actions One misstep And you’ll… fall At night before sleep All you can think Of the mistakes You’ve made that day The past haunts Your every waking moment Disgust and self hate Shake who you are Worry over You’re feeble connections Helpless bond breaking As you stand idly by Afraid to move

Nerves giving way to ulcers Hands shaking, palms sweaty Earth quakes shattering thoughts Splinters cutting of circulation Veins contract, blood freezing Eyes darting among the shadows Not looking for a friendly face But for a calming indifference Shut your eyes To the false concern Shallow encouragement Unknowing judgement Breath Deeply Into an old paper bag Laugh and cry Behind the closed door Never share The hurricane in side Hide it all under a porcelain mask You'll do fine, what they don't know...

Scream through a gritted smile Eyes bright with a bitter hollowness Comes to young for an old soul Shoulders popping and cracking Under the strain of self-imposed expectations? No; Guilt, disappointment Red and green clouds looming Over your head; figuratively Smog filling failing lungs Choking on the pollution Of short comings and misgivings So easily forgotten, pushed aside Ignored? Yet not Insults, screams, blame It falls to you, because No one else will take it Stand up for yourself! Cry baby, weakling. Speak! Yell! Slam a door Slipping in speech Saying too much Complaining too boldly Shut up; listen Stress fragment