I've given this a great deal of thought and -for years- it has been a source of frustration, though honestly "frustration" seems too bland a word to describe what I've been feeling. I've spent a lot of time laughing at it, brushing that chip off my shoulder, but really - enough is enough and I can confidently say I am not overreacting.

And, although I miss everyone, going away to college has been such a relief. I have room to be my own person without someone looking over my shoulder and telling me what I "should" be doing. Or judging my every action. You may not agree with my decisions, but I don't make them for you. I make them because either I think it's what's best for me or it's simply what I want.

I am tired of being patronized, I'm tired of being treated as if I'm unintelligent or incapable. Because, frankly, it's insulting. More than that, it's demeaning. And really starts to grate on the self-esteem when everyone around is constantly telling you what to do and how to do it or that you can't do it - I've noticed it's made me doubt myself and assume I can't do things, because nearly everyone I consort with treats me as if I can't.

And I'll be honest. There are large parts of my life that I don't share - to even my closest friends - because I'm tired of being treated like a stupid little kid who needs a babysitter. Or, even worse, the instant judgement that would ensue. I'm 18. I'm an adult. Does that mean I'll never make another mistake again, do something dumb, or get over my head? No. But that is something that can be said about everyone. In fact, I pretty much have all my shit together. And, from what I'm seeing, I'm starting to believe (despite popular opinion) I'm more mature and level headed than the vast majority of my friends.

Unless I ask for it, I generally don't care what your opinion is. Feel free to offer it, because I'll listen and appreciate it, but respect that I reserve the right to decline said advice and go with what I think is best. And even if I don't think it's best, just what I feel like doing in that certain situation or moment. I can't even tell you how many times I will seriously say something, but because it's coming from -me- it's brushed off or I just get called silly.


For the record - I do not need to be told when to: eat, go to the bathroom, sleep, do my homework, clean, do laundry, what to buy, how to use my finacial aid, who to date or socialize with, how to conduct my free time, ect.

And I whole heartedly swear if anyone EVER AGAIN pets my head and calls me "pretty" in that disgustingly condescending tone -~-~- the results will not be pretty.

I'll draw blood.
Or worse, I'll just be done.

Thank you.


PS. This, in no way, relates to you-know-who-you-are and what we brieftly talked about tonight. I was frustrated with you, yes. But you are the least condescending person I know and I'll admit - though I still think I'm right overall - comparing you to a certain group of people was a bit harsh. I love you and I know you've just got my back.